Friday, April 11, 2014

Dreams are the pits!

You always come to me in dreams. It's rarely ever pleasant, maybe once, but I truly can't recall. 

My life is in shambles since you've gone, nary a single aspect in order.  I keep trying to climb out, because that's what you do when you're at the bottom.  But I see no light to guide me, so I have no way of knowing in which direction I'm moving or if I'm really even moving at all.

In this last dream, I just surrendered to the madness. Meeting a homeless man rummaging through garbage for food, I decided to join him, to just drop out altogether.  Resisting has become so tiresome, and frankly, your lack of empathy has driven me here, leaving nothing to return to anyway: broken car with flat tires, empty savings, and just sadness.  A life utterly devoid. 

It clouds my whole day.  No amount of sunshine and blue skies lightens my mood.  God, I hate it here.  Looking back, I'm not quite certain that I haven't always, but there were moments, cold sand in the backyard sand box, blue oceans with dolphins along the bow.  Sure, it's nice to look at, but other than that...

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